Why do i always seem to be the one to catch everybody when they fall, yet nobody is ever there to catch me.  I have been slowly falling over the last 3-4 years and nobody has realised.  It all started when i left kings, accumilated when i went to haileybury, and exploded when i went to casey. (These are all swimming clubs).  But inbetween other things happened, My BF broke up with me and then contiuned to stay at my house and in my circle of friends till i couldn't stand it any more and got him out of my life.  Then my parents split up, and got back together again, but fought all the time, so mum slept in my room, so i had no privacy.  I fell for a guy, and he found out i liked him and did nothing about it, not even telling me if he liked me or not.  I lost all my friends at the end of last year, for reasons i still don't know.  The my parents finally split up this year, and we had the whole struggling without money thing...  I think everything has just hit home and i am feeling miserable.  I think i take life too seriously... I dunno.... Alot of shit has happened over the last few years, and i just haven't dealt with it i just keep pushing the pain away, its all i can do. 

I crave companionship, i crave someone who realises i'm not as strong as i appear, i crave someone that will look after me, because thats what i need.  I crave someone who will just lie there and hug me and expect nothing else.  I crave fun, adventure, a life.  I'm not looking for love, i'm looking for a friend.  Who will understand and be generous.  Who likes me with all my faults. 

Sorry for whinging, but i've had a bad few years and needed somewhere to voice it.  I'm going downhill fast... And need help...